The Idea in Brief

A female executive avoids taking a company-sponsored leadership course, convinced she’ll confirm the stereotype that women aren’t good leaders. A white manager avoids giving needed critical feedback to her Latino subordinate, fearing accusations of racism. A black engineer passed over for promotion doesn’t voice his concern that race was involved, lest he be labeled a troublemaker.

Scenarios like these unfold daily in “politically correct” organizations. Though political correctness has created more inclusive workplaces, it has also erected barriers to constructive communication and collaboration. It causes people to tiptoe around issues and each other, breeding misunderstanding, conflict, and mistrust—and eroding productivity.

Ely, Meyerson, and Davidson propose a more constructive way to tackle diversity-related tensions: Abandon the need to be “right” about perceived offenses or to be “innocent” of prejudice. Instead, learn what’s fueling tension and how you might interact more productively. The key? Honestly question your assumptions about reality and encourage others to challenge your beliefs and behavior.

When you adopt this learning mind-set, you help your organization gain the advantage diversity offers: an open environment where creativity, collaboration, and productivity flourish.

The Idea in Practice

To resolve diversity-related conflicts, the authors recommend these practices:

Pause

Suppose you’re certain that someone has shown prejudice toward you, or views you as prejudiced. Resist the urge to cast blame—you’ll only incite defensiveness in the other person. Instead, take time to identify your feelings and consider your response. Example: 

When Mary’s male law-firm colleagues made an off-color joke about women, she checked her anger and thought about how best to achieve a goal that mattered more to her than being right: enabling women to advance more easily to partner at the firm. That gave her time to reflect on her reactions before proceeding to deal actively with the episode.

Connect

Ask questions to better understand others’ behavior, and share your own perspective. Example: 

Wondering what experiences underlay her male colleagues’ disparaging humor about women, Mary asked them, “What was it like for you when women joined the firm? What did you feel you lost? Gained?” Everyone opened up, and Mary explained the feelings that arose in her when well-meaning colleagues told off-color jokes.

Question Yourself

Ask yourself how your desire to be proven right about a perceived threat or innocent of offending someone might be distorting your view of the situation. Example: 

Brianna, an African-American, succeeded white founder Jay as CEO at a consultancy. Jay, who remained as an adviser, told Brianna that her push to market more vigorously to clients of color was “too aggressive.” Rather than becoming defensive, Brianna sought further clarification. After listening to Jay’s concerns that her strategy would narrow the firm’s market, Brianna realized she needed to better articulate her strategy’s connection to the firm’s mission.

Get Genuine Support

When experiencing diversity-related tension, seek advisers who challenge your viewpoint. You won’t learn much from people who agree with you. Example: 

Brianna also sought help from a trusted mentor. He suggested she approach her next interaction with Jay as if he had her best interests at heart and see what she might learn from him.

Shift Your Mind-Set

Instead of insisting that others change, ask yourself what changes you can make to improve workplace relationships. Example: 

Richard, a white executive, was frustrated with Michele, his black business partner, whom he saw as controlling and critical of him. He realized that the only thing he could change was himself. So he initiated conversation with Michelle to learn more about her concerns. When he discovered that Michelle’s negative behavior stemmed from her worry about the firm’s increasing workload, he agreed to take on more of the load. Tensions between them eased.

A white manager fears she will be perceived as racist if she gives critical feedback to her Latino subordinate. A black engineer passed over for promotion wonders whether his race has anything to do with it, but he’s reluctant to raise this concern lest he be seen as “playing the race card.” A woman associate who wants to make partner in an accounting firm resists seeking coaching on her leadership style; she worries that doing so would confirm the notion that women don’t have what it takes to make partner.

A version of this article appeared in the September 2006 issue of Harvard Business Review.